If you have decided to separate and have attempted mediation then you may have a parenting plan in place, a financial settlement, and some understanding of what the future looks like.

Not every mediation is successful. Mediation has to be attempted prior to taking the matter to court, unless there are grounds that make mediation unsuitable. These include mental health issues, drug and alcohol issues and domestic and family violence.

The mediator can issue a Certificate 60I which will state that either mediation has been attempted or that mediation is unsuitable, allowing the matter to go directly to court.

If mediation has been unsuccessful, then it is best to seek legal advice around the next steps.

If mediation has been successful, then you will have a set of agreements to help navigate the future. Sometimes, as your child grows older, the agreements might not be suitable. Sometimes, when either parent re partners, the agreements may need to be looked at again. It is often difficult to make a set of rules when a child is very young, to take them to the age of 18, when they can choose for themselves.

Many families re-engage in mediation to make amendments to original parenting agreements.

It is important to take care of yourself and consider your next steps.

1. Take time to heal: Allow yourself the time and space to process your emotions. Healing from separation can take time, and it’s important to be patient and kind to yourself
2. Seek support: Talking to someone who understands and cares can be helpful, or continue to seek professional support post separation. Therapists can provide a safe and confidential space to talk about your feelings and provide guidance on moving forward
3. Establish boundaries: It is important to establish clear boundaries to protect your emotional wellbeing
4. Taking care of you: Make sure you are eating well, getting regular exercise, and getting enough sleep. Taking care of your physical self will have a positive effect on your emotional self. This is not the time to create bad habits, such as drinking too much, or substance abuse.
5. Reflect on the future: Consider what you want for your future. What are your goals, aspirations and priorities? This is an opportunity to re-evaluate and make decisions that align with your own well-being and happiness.
6. Rediscover yourself: Use this time to rediscover your interests, passions, and hobbies. Reconnecting with activities that bring you joy can be empowering.
7. Financial Considerations: Speak with a financial counsellor to plan for a secure financial future
8. Plan for the future: Once you have had time to heal and reflect, start making plans for the future. This may include personal goals, career aspirations, or new relationships.

It is important to take things one step at a time and be kind to yourself during this process.

I offer a free 15-minute phone call to begin the process to help you start thinking about a constructive way to move forward. Appointments can be online, or in person.